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Tuesday, November 3, 2015

3.0 The Diagnosis

"Mommy!" I ran from my room as quick as i could. "Mommy!" I ran right into her in the hallway. "What's wrong sweetheart?"
"Mommy there are monsters under my bed," I cried into her arms, as she held me close.
"Come, let's see these monsters." My mom had the softest voice, but even she couldn't calm me now. "No mommy!" I yelled, hugging her even tighter.
"Then you wait out here and I will go check." I held my breath as she walked into my room. She was gonna get eaten! I was sure of it.
Then she came out. "There is nothing in there Bea."
"But I saw them!" I stamped my feet in the ground and pouted, tears running down my face. "Oh sweetheart." My mom came over and bowed down to my level and hugged me. "Sometimes we can imagine things in our heads that just aren't real. I assure you that monsters are not real."
I looked stubbornly into her face. "Then what about vampires? They're monsters and they are real." I could see on my mothers face that I had taken her by surprise.
"Well... vampires aren't monsters. It's not their fault that they are what they are. It is because someone bit them and then they became creatures of the night. They miss the light dearly."
"How do you know?" I asked curiously. Had my mom dealt with vampires?
"I will tell you when you are older. Now off to bed." I always knew when not to argue anymore with my mother. She would either say something like "Off to bed", or "End of discussion" and every time she would sound very determined. I walked back into my room, but i didn't go to bed. I sat down at my play table that my mom had bought me for my birthday along with the rest of my room. I loved my room, i really did, but i didn't care for the monsters. I knew though, that when i got to be very tired i wouldn't mind the monsters and i would just go right to sleep in my bed.
I really enjoyed playing with my blocks. It was fun and the closest thing to Lego i could get. They didn't sell Lego blocks in this god forsaken town. I wish i had Lego. Then i could build my own Lego doll house and play with the little Lego people that  you could buy. I had seen them in tv commercials, but my mom said it was too expensive to order and have transported from another city.
Ian on the other hand had found love in art. He loved spending most of his time in the hobby room painting pictures on the art easel.
He wasn't even that good. But mom always praised his pictures to  heaven. He wanted to earn a little extra allowance so when he was done with his homework he would go strait to the easel and continue. Every piece he finished he would sell for a few simoleons. I thought it was stupid. Who would want an art piece made by a seven year old boy?
I begged mom again and again to buy me a dog, but she kept saying no. She said i was too young and irresponsible to take care of a dog and she didn't have the time to do it. It sucked. I wish i had a dad. He would surely give me a dog. I love all animals though and when i grow up i want to have all kinds of pets. Dogs, cats, horses, lizards etc. Then there is no one stopping me from having as many pets as i want!
Tomorrow is Aidan's birthday. He's turning 18 and done with High School. I wish i could go to High School. It is so boring in my school. I already know what 3+5 and 200+300 is, but no one seems to care. We get to be taught the same thing over and over again, because some people in my class are stupid and don't listen to the teacher. I always do my homework and get straight A's. Ian spends a lot of his time on his homework and gets tutored by Terrance, but he still only hails home B's. Mommy always says how she is proud of us, but i think she should be mostly proud of me! I am the one doing most of the work anyways. I give Ian answers in school so he won't fail, but she just scolds me for that. Why is everything so unfair?!

Aidan's Pov

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Aidan! Happy birthday to you!"
My mom held a big party for my birthday. Today i turn 18 and am officially an adult. Finally! I couldn't stand High School! The only good thing about it is that I met my girlfriend there. Wilhemina is wonderful. We are planning on moving in together as soon as she turn 18 as well.
As I blew out the lights on the cake everyone cheered at me. It was wonderful being surrounded by family, but i couldn't help loosing it a bit. My mind went crazy with thoughts about murder and about decapitations. I hated it when that happened. It mostly happened when i was surrounded, just like now, by a lot of people. It was like i had no filter in my head telling me to stop or continue. Now that i was an adult i was going to get treatment myself, because living like this is definitely a no-go.
"Congratulations sweety," Wilhemina came over and gave me a kiss. "Thank you," I smiled at her and we hugged. "You know i think maybe we should do that thing after the party," she looked into my eyes, but i had my eyes a completely different place. "Honey? What are you...?" Then she heard it too. Every one was staring at Elle and Javon as they were having a large argument, mostly of him yelling at her.
"... believe you would do that to me!" he yelled at her. "I trusted you! I vouched for you at my family gathering!"
"I'm so so sorry! Javon i love you! I love you!" She was trying to kiss him or just touch him, i wasn't sure.
"No! Sorry doesn't cut it this time. We are over!"
"No Javon, please! I beg you!" She had tears in her eyes now.
"You are dead to me now." He looked at her like she was garbage. Nobody spoke to my sister like that! No matter what she had done. I walked over to him and punched him in the chest. He fell to the floor instantly, clutching his chest with his left hand and steadying himself on the floor with his right. "No Aidan!" Elle heaved in my arm to stop me from hurting him more. "Just get up and leave," I told him and pointed at the door. He quickly left, and Elle completely broke down on the floor. In a united effort Terrance and I helped, well almost carried, Elle up to her bedroom where we tucked her into her bed. "I'll stay with her," Terrance said, sitting on the edge of the bed, gently stroking his hand over her head. "Go entertain the rest of the guests." He looked at me sternly. It was so weird being told what to do by my younger brother that i just did it without thinking. On my way down i met my mother on the stairs. "How is she?" she asked sounding very concerned. "She'll be alright, i'm sure. She just needs to rest." I paused, then continued. "What exactly happened down there? Why were they arguing?"
She sighed deeply.
"Come downstairs, i'll tell you." I followed her down and we sat in the living room, where none of the guests were. For some reason they kept to the hobby room and the kitchen where all the food were.
She then lounged into a story i didn't expect my big sister to take part in. I was horrified that she would do something like that, but at the same time still upset that someone had spoken so poorly of her.
"That still doesn't excuse how he spoke of her," I said stubbornly.
"Well it still doesn't excuse you for punching him to the ground! What were you thinking Aidan? You should be damn lucky if he doesn't sue you tomorrow! This is supposed to be your 18th birthday." She sighed. "I'm getting too old for this. The next time you end up in a fight i damn well hope they punch you back!" She got up and walked towards the door, when she suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned around to face me. "By the way, what did Wilhemina get you for your birthday?"
"It is actually a surprise for later," I accidentally smiled a bit, making my mother look worried. She walked over to me again and whispered into my ear: "I know how much you care for her, and i understand. She's a lovely young woman. But just, please, don't do something you will later regret. Or something that is unchangeable," she gave me a stern look and then walked out of the room. Did she know what we were about to do? If she knew she would without a doubt try to stop it. I was sure of it. That's why we were keeping it secret until it was completed.

Elle was a wreck after the party. For two whole months she did nothing else than eat and sleep. She took all her meals with her in bed and left the bowl or plate on the end table for one of us to pick up. Finally we got so sick of her just hanging around that we decided, well actually I decided, to take a bucket of water and wake her up in the most humane way i could think of.
I stood at the side of her bed. She was sleeping heavily this morning. I raised the bucket of ice cold water above my head, yelled "Wake up!" and emptied the bucket on top of her. I don't think i have ever heard someone scream so fiercely before. "Aidan, you prick! Get the hell OUT OF MY ROOM!"
I ran out laughing. "What's happening?" My mother came running out of her bedroom in only her bathrobe and slippers.
"See for yourself." I must have had a manic look in my eyes because she sent me the look that she always sent me whenever i had it. "Go take your pills," she said as she knocked on Elle's door. "Who is it?!" She yelled.
"Honey it is your mother. May I come in?" As she walked in and closed the door i fell down on the ground laughing hysterically, so much that it hurt in my stomach. God, i had to remember to take those pills. When it had passed i walked to my bedroom and looked in the medicine cabinet. About one and a half month ago i went to the hospital to a consultation i had asked for with a psychiatrist. She was going to find out what was wrong with me. It had taken two appointments per week for four weeks for her to determined that i suffered from a difficult Schizotypal Personality Disorder. It isn't a diagnosis i had known about before, so when she told me, i had no idea what she was talking about. But when she explained what the symptoms were, i could relate completely. It isn't something that is going to just go away, but there was some kind of treatment for it. The pills that i am now taking is going to dim the symptoms so they aren't as overpowering in my everyday life. It was going to help me a lot too with my relationship with Wilhemina. She had really been a huge support for me, where my family had lacked. She went into consultations with me with the doctors and she helped me buy my medicin. I was taking anti psychosis medicine. It was unknown by even the doctors whether i would be on this for the rest of my life. No one knew. But i didn't care as long as it helped me right now. 
"You are so dead!" I heard Elle yell from her bedroom as it opened and then closed. 
"Aidan! Can i talk to you out here?" My mom called out to me.
I quickly swallowed my pills and went out to greet her with a little smile playing on my lips. 
"That was not okay what you did there. You need to go apologize to her right now!" 
"Mom, i'm not a kid anymore. You can't tell me what to do." I put my hands on my hips, looking quite stubborn. She was speechless. "Well, ehm.. what do you have to say for yourself?" 
"Not working," I said.
"Fine, i give up. Do whatever you want. But you will have to move out then." 
"Wait, what?" Move out? I couldn't afford that! I didn't even have a steady job yet.
"You heard me. You need to move out! None of us can handle your changing mood swings anymore and you are acting insane all the time. I thought things would be better once you were on medication, but apparently it hasn't worked."
"But mom! The doctor said it takes a while for them to work, and sometimes i might have forgotten to take them, but i promise i will remember from now on! Just give me some time! A month should do it!"
She looked at me like she was trying to figure out if i was lying or not. "Alright, you've got a month, but then i want to see some improvement! Okay?" She pointed her finger at me. 
"Yes, mom," I looked down at my feet. She walked downstairs into the kitchen to fix some breakfast for us all. Everyone had woken up by Elle's cry. It was now eight o'clock on a Saturday and they were all cranky because they had wanted to sleep in. I had apparently done it again. Sigh.

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