1.8 Part One: A Sour Ending

While I took care of the children, Bob did the nanny interviews. It took a while, and after many interviews, we landed on Felisha Lloyd.

She was a very family oriented young girl, just out of high school. She seemed like a nice and intelligent young woman.
She was an instant hit with the children.

My children were laughing with her and soon she had taught Camille to talk as well.

I soon found out though that it was not only the children that took a liking to her. Bob started acting funny when she was in the same room as him. It was like he was trying to impress her. It made me sick to my stomach. I told myself he would never do anything to hurt me. It was all in my head. But I still felt i needed to keep a close eye on him.
Then one day while i was at the bookstore, unaware of what was happening in our home, Bob had been watching Felisha putting Camille to bed.
"You two are so cute together," he said. Felisha turned her head and smiled to him. "Thank you Sir. Your children are so adorable. I could squeeze them to death." They laughed, then lowered their voices. "You are adorable, you know that?" Felisha looked at him in astonishment. "Tha-thank you Sir." She had no idea what to say. "I'm going to make some coffee, do you want any?" She made a movement as to go towards to door, when he stopped her. "I think you know what i want," he said, enticingly.
"Sir, your wife could be here any moment," She said, turning her head away shyly. "Don't worry about my wife. Every day she is caught up in diapers and vomit, she needs her time out of the house. She won't be back for at least a couple of hours," he looked down like he was thinking of something. Then he looked up and his eyes were full of passion. "I've been watching you for a while now. You are truly great with the kids. They adore you. I adore you."

"I have wanted you ever since you stepped inside my house. I need you to make me live again. I feel like i am stepping deeper and deeper into the ocean and i can't find my way back. Help me, please." As he begged her for closeness, she couldn't help feel bad for him. Was Alyca really this horrible to live with?
"Okay Sir, but..." "Please, call me Bob. Sir was my dad, and he is long gone." She smiled at him, "Fine, Bob it is. This job means so much to me, the children, the joy i get from watching them grow. Though what i really want is my own daycare. Taking care of children is my life. My true passion."
"I will show you true passion." And then he kissed her.

It seemed to go on forever. It was a magical kiss, like he hadn't experienced in a long time.
They hurried to the bedroom, where they got under covers and enjoyed some naughty time together.

They were in total bliss as they satisfied their needs.
The next couple of days, I couldn't help notice that Felisha was trying to avoid Bob. I couldn't figure out why she would do that. I had been suspicious about them, but i always went back to the phrase "Bob would never hurt me" so i tried to ignore it.
Then, one day Bob came up to me and said we needed to talk. I followed him into our bedroom, as he began to ramble on about our problems and how difficult the past few years had been for him. About his job and not getting the promotion he wanted and so on.
"Bob, get to the point." I said, and that is when he dropped the bomb.

"I'm so so sorry Alyca. I realized you are the only one I want and love. Can you forgive me?"
"You... slept... with... her?" I said it like that because anger was now boiling inside of me. How could i have been so stupid?! I knew something was up, but i had not realized it was this!
"You are not worth forgiving!" I screamed. 

"We are over Bob! You've ruined us!"

"WHAT? Wait no! Please! Listen to me, i didn't mean for this to happen!"

"No! You have destroyed us. Now go and take that whore with you. You make me sick!" I spat at him.

Everything had been destroyed by one single mistake. A mistake that cost me my marriage to Bob. I couldn't believe this had really happened. I was now a single mother with 5 children to raise, and no income. This was sure a sour situation.

The next couple of days, my children kept asking where their daddy was. I had no idea how to tell them what had happened. I mean, how do you tell your kids that their mom and dad was getting a divorce because their daddy was a scumbag? Yes, i was still sour about the situation. I was still hurt, i was still... well i still had all those bad feelings, but at the same time, i couldn't shake the feeling that it was all my fault. If i just hadn't been nagging him all the time about him not being there for his children, all of this wouldn't have happened. Right? I had no answers for them, so what should i tell them?
When it couldn't go on any longer, i set my two oldest children around the dining table and explained that mom and dad was getting a divorce, and that it had nothing to do with them and that we loved them all the same.
They actually took it pretty cool. They were used to their dads absence in their every day life. Though they were still sad that we wasn't going to live there anymore.
"Where will we live?" Hans asked.
"Well, you live here, of course." I answered. Bob and I had talked about whether some of the children should live with him, but I didn't want my children to live with an absent father and a whore. I still couldn't call her by her name, so now she was "that whore who destroyed our family".
After a while, things went back to normal. We lived off of the child support Bob sent us every month.
After 6 months, it was Bernards birthday.
He grew into a handsome teenager.

(I still don't get where his black hair came from.)

After a couple of years, Hans grew into a teenager as well.

I'd bought a guitar for him for his birthday, as we wished to become a rock star just like i did. Though his wishes changed as fast as a horse can run, so i never knew what to expect.