I gave birth on a sunny Monday morning to a healthy baby girl i named Elle. She was the most beautiful thing in the world. My mom took me to the hospital as Henri was at a business conference in another town. I called him after the birth to let him know. He promised he would come home as soon as he could.
A few days later he arrived at my house to see the little wonder.
"No, no Camille." He said as he rejected my kiss.
"But, why not? I mean look at what we created. Don't you want another one?" I felt hurt, embarrassed.
"Camille, i like you, a lot in fact, but i can't go down that road again. We made a little wonderful human being together, but i don't want another. And i don't want you in that way anymore. I'm sorry but that is just the way i feel."
"I just don't understand why." I felt tears start in my eyes.
"I'm too old for you. You have your whole life in front of you. You will find someone around your own age to love and to have a lot of babies with. I will be here for Elle and for you to talk to, but there can't be more than that." He got up, hugged me tightly and left.
Once again, i felt abandoned. I needed to stop making mistakes and getting together with men who are too old for me. I had to agree with him on one thing: He had gotten older in a short period of time. Maybe it was because he had uprooted himself from his homeland when he moved here. I didn't know and maybe i would never understand how love works. But hopefully i would find someone else some time.
When Elle was two years old, Rie had an announcement. She seated us all in the living room while her and Jerry stood up holding each other.
"So what's the announcement?" Our mother asked, excitement in her voice.
"Yeah tell us!" I shouted happily.
"Okay, so you know Jerry and I have been dating for a couple of years right? Well, last night we got married!"
"Wow married! Congrat..."
"I'm not finished!" She kind of scolded me with a little smile. I sat quietly and waited for the rest of the announcement.
"We are also pregnant!" Silence. "That's it."
We all gave our congratulations and hugged and kissed. "So do you know the sex of the baby yet?"
It was Jerry that answered: "No we want it to be a surprise."
"Yeah well you're secretly hoping for a boy." Rie said with an overbearing smile.
"I know, i am," he said grinning from ear to ear.
"It is so good to see you two are happy together," I said as i hugged my sister. It was strange to see her like this. My sister, the commitment phobe, who had always said she never wanted neither boyfriend nor kids. But these couple of years she had put her own needs aside and concentrated only on her work and her boyfriend.
"I guess you are going to move out then?" I asked her.
"Are you insane? I couldn't make it two days out there without you or mom," She said, as smile as wide as the sun on her face that reached her eyes. She was so pretty when she smiled like that.
"Then, is Jerry gonna move in here?" I hadn't minded that she was dating my ex boyfriend, but i didn't want him to live here.
"No silly, we are going to live apart for a while. At least until the baby is born. Then we will take it up for discussion again. I don't know what the future holds but i'm definitely not ready to live with a guy. I need my sister and mom."
"Aw that makes me smile." My mom interrupted us. She pulled us into a group hug.
"Wait, mom didn't you have an announcement as well?" I suddenly remembered.
"No, that can wait. This is a time for happiness." She smiled a little sad smile, then turned away. What was wrong?
"Mom, please tell us. You're making us worried." Everybody was staring at her now. She breathed in and out and turned to face us all. "Okay, you know you've all asked me lately if i'm okay and all? Well as it turns out i'm not. A couple of years ago i went to the hospital and i they confirmed that i have cancer." The silence was deafening. "I know i should have told you sooner but i didn't want to worry you."
"Oh my god!" Rie exclaimed. "Well, now i'm definitely not leaving." She whispered into my ear.
"How long do you have left?" I asked the question everyone was thinking.
"A couple of months. I've been going to treatment for a year now, but nothing has worked. I stopped and now i'm just waiting..."
"To die? I can't believe you didn't tell us!" I was angry at her. She didn't want us to worry? She was our mom! She couldn't die! I stormed off to my bedroom. I needed to be alone with my thoughts. There was a knock on the door.
"Camille please come out." It was Rie. Of course she would come and try to talk to me. I had done the same with her in the past.
"Go away! I don't want to talk right now."
"I'm just gonna sit out here until you do." I heard her sit down on the floor and lean up against the door.
"Ugh fine!" I got up and opened the door. She almost fell backwards. I helped her get up and let her into my room, then closed the door again.
"I know this is tough for you. You've always been close to mom. But she needs us right now. She needs you too. She says she has a couple of months left but it could be less and more. We don't know. She might not even live to see this baby!" She started to cry. I held my arms around her and we cried together.
"Come on, we have to get back to the others." She said while drying her eyes on her sleeve.
Jerry decided to leave since, as he said, this was family time and he didn't feel he should be part of this. Mom had said that he was being silly, that he was a part of the family, but he still left.
That night the three of us watched a romantic comedy in the living room, with bowls of popcorn in our laps, while we held each others hands.
About 6 months later, our mom was more sick than ever. She slept all the time. She could muster the strength to get up except to go to the bathroom. So we delivered food to her in bed.
One night, i was restless in bed. Elle had been screaming her head off all day, so Rie had taken care of mom. I need some time out, i thought to myself. I went out to find Rie.
"I need some fun. What do you say we call Jerry and Henri to look after mom and Elle? We can go to a bar and have a drink and dance." It was as long time since i had last been to a bar, let alone had a drink. The last time, well it must have been when i got pregnant.
"I'm sorry Cammie, i really am, but i can't go. For one thing, pregnant women aren't supposed to drink," she winked at me. Of course, i forgot about her being pregnant. "And for another, neither of them knows how to take care of either."
"Well, don't you think Jerry needs the practice?" I tried a faint attempt to get her out a bit.
"I'm sorry honey. Maybe when i've had the baby, okay?" I guess it was just me then. I went to take a shower, brush my teeth, put on some make-up and got dressed in my party dress. God i needed a new wardrobe. Maybe when i got my next promotion. I hadn't been so lucky on that area ever since, well ever since i got hired. To be honest i had never gotten a promotion. Perhaps it was because i had called in sick so many times. I had to be here for mom and Elle. I didn't know what else i could do. We all had jobs. Mom had retired from hers after fulfilling her wish of becoming a Rock Star. A while ago she had decided that she would never get to learn charisma full out, so she changed her lifetime wish to something better. Thank fully she had been able to fulfill it before she dies. I hated that word. Die. Why did you have to die? Why couldn't you live forever with the people who loved you? It was so unfair. No, i couldn't think about this tonight. Tonight was about fun times and dancing and drinking and meeting strangers. I spoke to my friend Oberon Summerdream, my former coworker at the school, and asked him about where i should go tonight, since he was a total party animal. He said the Vampire Lounge was the best place to go. Yes, fun times was about to start.
I arrived a little over 22:00 o'clock. It wasn't exactly packed with people, but again it was a Tuesday night. As i entered the Lounge, i spotted a pale figure across the room. He was so beautiful to look at it almost hurt my eyes. I had been a lot more open to the mystical creatures that was in town than before. I had even met a couple of them around town, ever since we moved here years ago. I walked over to him and introduced myself.
"Hi, I'm Camille Holmberg." God i sounded ridiculous. Like a high school girl trying to flirt.
He smiled at me though. "Hello. My name is Tristan Van Gould." He took my hand with a firm grip. I was instantly sold. We talked for a while. He told me that his family was some of the oldest that lived in town. It was a fascinating story he had to tell. At one point i looked around me and two people were close by, staring at us, like we were doing something illegal.
When the club closed we were shunned outside. We continued to talk as the only ones left. He had the most beautiful laugh. Then he said to me: "I like you Camille Holmberg." And then he kissed me. We ended up kissing quite a bit after that.
"The sun is starting to rise. I must be getting home." He said, monotonically. We let go of each other and he hurried off in his very expensive car.
I went home in total bliss. I had expected to have a hard time sleeping that night, but instead i fell asleep almost instantly.
After that night i didn't hear from him for two months. I finally decided to go out on the town again. This time i went to the Red Velvet Lounge. Here i met Michael Blanestreet. He was nice and had a calm demeanor, which i liked about him.
We talked a bit and he told me stories about his travels around the world, while still flirting with me. I've had it, i thought and i kissed him.
"For what?"
"For not asking me to leave. For kissing me. For wanting me. I could go on and on, but instead i just want to stand here and kiss you." He had a deep voice. Then a thought occurred to me. "You aren't married right?"
"What?" he let go of me.
"Are you married?" I repeated myself.
"Well,.." he mumbled something to himself.
"What did you say?
"Does it really matter?"
"Oh god! I can't believe you. Did you think i would be your mistress?! Get out! Get out now!"
And i kicked him out then and there. I guess i was just unlucky with men. What was next? A circus clown on wheels?
This chapter had a lot of sensitive stuff in it. I don't know a lot about cancer, so i hope you are not offended if i have written something completely wrong. I was inspired by a "cancer collection" that is being held here in Denmark these days.
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